♪ And the teenage wishes of my memory ♪
♪ All this before became a part of me ♪
♪ Rising someday to eternity
- Perp went East on 95.
Heavily-armed and definitely dangerous.
- Hey, son of a bitch has got speed up his fuckin' ass.
- What does the fuck does that mean, speed up his ass?
- Why would you say speed up his ass?
- Ugh, light.
- That son of a bitch!
- What the fuck is he doin', is he fuckin crazy?
- Yeah, fuck, crazy would be an improvement!
- Houdini, eat your heart out.
Look, Ma, no hands.
Oh man, definitely not a sight for sore eyes.
Hey man, you definitely need a lesson in car chasing.
Rule number one, never chase the chaser.
- Come on! - I can't, I'm fuckin'--
- He's starting to get away! - He's driving to the farm!
Will you fuckin' leave me alone!
- He's heading down fucking Crenshaw.
- I got him.
- I'm talking to the radio! - I got him!
- Guys could advance.
- What the fuck is he doin'?
- That son of a bitch is blindfolded!
- Ah, he's really sick! He's really very, very sick!
- Watch out, watch out!
- Ha ha ha, hasta la vista, bimbos!
No dumping!
All right, you jerkoffs.
Where the hell are ya?
My, what big eyes you have.
That's right, better to see you with, assholes.
I see.
A-ha, there you are and here I come!
- Hell yes.
Money's like an aphrodisiac.
Woo, so how much of this shit we got?
- We goin' to Acapulco now or what?
- Hey, who's this fuckin' guy on our ass?
- What guy, what up? - Look, look.
Fuckin' guy is on my ass, man.
- I'll say he is.
Hey, you need to fuck off man!
- Don't you guys know?
No matter how tired, hungry, drunk,
blind I am, it doesn't make a difference?
I always get my man.
Left tire.
- Fucker!
- 'Cause I'm crazy, I'm really over the edge.
I'm fucking, totally, absolutely dangerous.
Right tire!
- Fuck, why don't we just get out and walk?
Are you tired?
- I'm right behind you, you jerkoffs!
And you thought you were gonna lose me.
Not in your wildest imaginations.
- Take it on the bridge, take it on the bridge!
- I'm going, shut the fuck up!
- What is with this tin foil, horseshit!
- You mother fuckers are buying me a new window!
- Man, he's got like a blindfold over his eye.
Where the hell is he driving?
We could see him, but he can't see us.
Fuck!
- The fuckin' guy's possessed.
Get this seersucker from hell off my ass!
Light him up!
- Yes, sir! - Now you're talking.
- Yeah, ha ha!
We got him now.
- He's still on my ass, man.
Get him off my fuckin' ass!
- Flashing with the gates of inferno!
I'm sick of this shit!
- I was saving it for the next ride.
- Oh man, you guys are pissing me off and that ain't good.
Because I might decide to go off the deep end!
- Ah, fuck!
- Hoss, Hoss, get the fuck outta here, man!
He's got one.
- Shit, this guy's a fuckin' ghost from hell, man.
He's fuckin' nuts!
Son of a bitch!
Lie down, man.
Lie down.
- I could even do it with my head turned this way.
Or this way.
It doesn't matter.
I could be upside down and I could shoot the hell outta ya.
- Take the fucking money!
Take the fucking money!
- Wait a minute, where the hell.
Son of a bitch, where the hell are they?
They got away.
Fuck, I drank one too many!
They got away, what the hell is the difference?
I might as well have another.
You got me.
Don't shoot.
- Not that I wouldn't want to, asshole!
What the fuck was that bullshit back there?
Fuck, I outta blow your head off.
- I owe ya, consider that a partial payment.
- I'll consider it payment in full, jackoff!
What the fuck did you do?
You let him go!
- I let him go.
You mean, I let him go.
- What do you mean, you let him get away on purpose?
- Hey.
You're not deaf and dumb after all.
- Would you take off that stupid fucking blindfold!
- Would you guys, relax.
They only robbed a bank for Christ's sakes.
- But how'd you do it, Houdini?
You peeking, huh, is that it?
- No, but it woulda been a heck of a lot easier if I did.
It sure pays to be new wave, huh?
- He definitely needs help.
- Hey, Chase, why don't you use your psychic eye
to find out what kind of a fuckin' asshole you are?
- A little later, Kyle, huh?
Right now it's freebasing.
Watching your wife hump somebody silly in Motel Pinks.
Ah, nice tight ass!
- Again with the humping.
- Shit!
Hey, Chase, which one, there's two of 'em?
- Highway 12, room three.
- Right.
- Hey, Kyle, you want us to back you up?
- No, thanks, it's personal.
- Damn it! - Woo hoo!
- Just like army days, man!
- You got it, Kyle.
Get out right now!
Put your hands up, mother fucker!
Oh god, it's the chief, we're fucked!
- Jesus.
- Shit.
You dumb bastards!
- Chief, we had no idea.
I mean.
We didn't know it was you.
I mean, if we woulda known.
- We didn't know because there was.
We didn't know.
- We had a lead.
- You listen to me!
If one word of this gets out,
I'll hang the both of you by your balls, you understand?
- Oops, gave 'em wrong info.
- Now lead yourselves outta here!
Get out! - We're goin' right now.
It was very nice to have met you.
- Righteous Earl, here, and I'll do anything
to sell you a car, even swallow my cigar!
Woo, upside down even!
Now come see my pets, Splish and Splash.
They live in a shoe!
I'm Righteous Earl, look for me in there, too!
Ah, yeah.
Now, cut, cut, get me outta this goddamn thing!
Here we go, get me up, get me up, thank you.
Holy my, hurry up, holy!
Whoa, whoa there, ho sheesh!
- Here, have some of this. - Give me a drink!
Give me a drink! - This'll make you feel good.
- Oh, my little pumpkins.
A man's best friend is his pets!
Ooh, ooh, it sets my heart to fire
and my chitlins flashing in desire.
- Oh, you got a lotta desire, Earl.
- Yeah, I woulda been a lyricist, but I slur too much.
- Oh, we'll slur for you, Earl.
- Oh god, who put whisky in my whisky?
Whoever it was, I thank ya.
Now you girls go take five.
Now that drink stays, and save one for me.
All right?
I'll be trailing you right back at the trailer.
I got business to attend to.
- Oh, he's leaving.
- That piece of junk.
Hey, how's the swami, huh?
- Hi ya doin', Earl?
What the hell happened to your accent?
- Oh, that's for the customers, not for my buddy.
Hey, you've been busy today.
- Yeah, I've been busy. - Yeah.
Hey, what do you need?
What can I get for you?
Hey, four by four, auto air, transmission, crystal ball.
Oh, you got one built in your head already, don't ya?
You know, I got just the baby for you.
- Earl, sweet for a sweet.
- Honey pumpkin, I'll be meeting you
in the trailer in about five minutes.
- Yee haw!
- Oh, it's a great life, you know.
- Is that the Southern comfort or is that Northern bullshit?
- She's working for the bonus, you know?
- Feels good, Earl.
How often do I gas it?
- You don't gas this baby.
Like us, you 151 proof it.
You rocket fuel it!
Fill it up with high octane,
throw in a bottle of my booster.
It'll take ya to heaven and back.
- It better.
Wouldn't wanna be caught there one way with no return.
- Yeah, heaven's for the angels,
not for the likes of us, huh, Chase?
Hey, by the way, this ain't legal, you know.
- How much do I owe you?
- Well, if the department's paying for it, top price.
If you're paying for it, it's on the house.
- Thanks, Earl.
Do the usual, call me if there's another war.
- You're the best.
I can always count on you, Chase.
You're my Southern buddy y'all,
if you were from the South, South Bronx that is.
- Fuckin' get his ass, man.
Bust his fuckin' balls!
Bunch of bullshit!
- Hey, Twiddle Dumb and Twiddle Dumber!
How you guys doin'?
- That was hysterical last night, Chase.
- Don't you guys got somethin' better
to do than to follow me around?
- You know, I gotta tell you somethin', man.
You got some fuckin' brass balls, you know that?
'Cause we're gonna tell him that you fucking set us up.
- I think that maybe the two of you gotta
get yourself a girlfriend or something,
you know what I mean? - Oh yeah, right.
But I think I'm in love with you, Chase.
You know, your beautiful blond hair, man.
Your hair comes alive.
Get a haircut, would you please?
- Oh, shit.
My worst fuckin' nightmare, another empty beer can.
- Can't we bust him for drinking in public or somethin'?
Whoa, yes indeed.
Hey, it must be jelly 'cause jam don't--
- Fuck you, Dana.
- Shake like that.
Yeah, she wants me.
- You're beautiful.
- Thank you.
- Yo, Chase.
- Tell me something, is this where my tax money's going to,
for these new high-falluting security systems.
'Cause I think it sucks.
Have a good afternoon, George,
and keep your hands off of my beer.
- Hey, hey, it's super cop.
Didn't you ever learn not to turn your back
on the enemy, huh?
- You guys are too stupid to be called my enemy.
- How's your sex life, Houdini?
- Yeah, I heard your dick disappeared.
Blub, blub, blub, bleeb, presto!
- Chicks must really love that S&M shit!
Especially with you being the one wearing the blindfold!
- For Christ's sake, straighten your tie a bit.
What'll he think, Lieutenant's coming.
Morning, Lieutenant.
- Hey, guys. - Morning to you.
- Good morning. - Heya doin'?
- Lieutenant.
- Good morning, Lieutenant,
you're looking very chipper today.
That tie is a very nice-- - Fuck off!
- You hear anything new in that stripper case?
- The less we hear about it, the better.
- That's lovely.
- Those burritos were good.
- Chase doesn't have any sense of smell, remember?
Just go ahead and fart.
Come on - Get started, come on.
- Hey, I'm trying.
It's got nowhere to go.
- He's not deaf, you guys.
- Let's get outta here, guys.
Chase's stench is killing me, oh god.
- That funny a joke?
- You ever think about getting that thing fixed?
Here, your gonna need that.
- Ooh, hot in here.
- Nothing like the smell of a beautiful lady
lavished in lust.
Excuse me.
- You've been costing the department too much money.
I'm assigning you a second pair of eyes.
- What?
A partner, me, moi?
Is this coming from the masturbating duo?
- Dana and Kyle have nothing to do with this, Chase.
- Hey look, Chief, you know I always make good, right?
- All right, look, the perps might have gotten away
but I nicked one of 'em really good.
He's gonna be leaving a trail of blood wherever he goes.
All you gotta do is send out the hounds
and you'll find him licking his wounds.
- No no no no no.
It's been too much, too often, it's final.
As of now, you're gonna have a partner
to slow you down and keep you in the traffic lanes.
You got that?
- This just came in.
Hey, Chase.
- Hey, Kelly.
- You been drinking again?
Smell yourself, you smell terrible.
- Captain, Sergeant Kuluhan is here.
- Okay, great.
Now, look, Chase, don't scare this one away.
We're talking first rate credentials here.
Top of the class.
Narcotics, homicide, firearms, special tactics.
Expert in Taekwondo, judo, you name it.
- Are you kidding me?
Who is this, Rambo?
- Chief, I'm outta here, I'm history.
Hasta la vista, baby, I'm gone.
Call me if the going gets rough, all right?
Big mistake, I think I'll stick around for a while.
- Of course.
Sergeant Kuluhan, this is Detective Chase Nash.
He's got a foul tongue, but a sweet heart
once you get to know him.
- Yes, we met.
- Tight buns, nice to see you again.
Oh!
- You'll have to excuse him, Sergeant.
He's a bit off balance on account
of a bad decision he was just about to make.
Luckily, something brought him back to his senses.
- Actually, two things brought me back to my senses.
- Do you think that's enough of a feel, Detective Nash?
- Oh yeah, sure.
Unless you want me to take off your shirt and do it right.
- That's enough, Chase.
I'm assigning the two of you on to the stripper case.
- The stripper case.
That's the hauling out bodies, isn't it?
- Sounds like it's right up your alley.
- Oh, you're funny.
I've had my share of full bodies, thank you.
I'm not deprived, like you.
- Oh, what makes you think I'm deprived?
- Very obvious.
The way you hold your body so stiff and defensive-like.
- Ever occur to you that maybe women
like me just don't like men like you.
- Never thought of that.
Got myself a nun.
- Do you mind, Chase?
- Now so far we got Special Tactics, the FBI,
Vicap, and even the CIA in on this one.
The whole thing's getting worse and
we're not getting any better.
What we have here is a precedent
in criminal investigation history.
Now I wouldn't even think about screwing it up any worse
by sending you in, Chase, but, hell, I still owe ya.
Now maybe, just maybe, with the class of Sergeant Kuluhan
beside you you might get it straight this time.
- Well, we'll look good anyway.
Sounds good to me, Chief.
We'll have it bagged tight and cleaned up in a couple days.
Right, Sarge?
- You watch yourself, Detective Nash,
and we'll just do fine together.
- Ooh, I got myself a live one.
- Don't worry, I'll take care of it.
- Let me escort you outside, if you don't mind.
Whoa!
I mean, don't touch the merchandise.
Can I just look at it?
Chief.
First I gotta bag Sergeant Stuck-up
then I'll solve the case.
- Chase!
- So what did the chief mean by still owing you?
- A lot of people owe me, Sarge,
but not many people pay me back.
Hold it!
We don't wanna go in there.
This one's filled with four big assholes.
- That was great, that was great, Sergeant!
You see the expressions on their faces?
It was like they saw the Grim Reaper!
I'm telling you, me and you,
we got a great future-- - Hold it!
Look, Detective, we owe each other nothing.
That was only spur of the moment destiny
back there shining it's benevolence upon you.
- Gosh, what a lucky guy.
I definitely see a grandiose destiny ahead
for the two of us.
Hey, Sloppy Joe.
What's going down here?
- You don't wanna see it, Chase.
It'll make you throw up.
- It's all right, I didn't eat yet.
What is it?
- Yuck, looks like something from outer space.
Welcome to the stripper case, Kiddo.
Ho, hey, I like your new partner!
- 10-4, under the Fifth Street Bridge.
Sightings of stripper victims.
Keep vicinity on lock down.
- Hey, Chase, smile!
You're on fuckin' Candid Camera from Mars!
- Hey, that's my bad side.
- Every side is your bad side, asshole.
- It wasn't their lucky day.
- Department of Health notified.
May need quarantine.
No body fluids or organs thought to exist in the bodies.
Checking for radioactivity.
- I tried to tell them that crime don't pay.
- That's your hit?
- Yup.
Looks like somebody big and bad finished the job also, huh?
- There's nothing to take fingerprints of.
Christ, even the fingerprints are gone.
- Something's going down all right.
There's no telling how long they've been dead
without organs or internal liquids.
I don't know who's dong this or how.
I'm betting it's arcane.
- Well, Sarge, let's look at the upside.
They nailed the bad guy.
The other stripper victims were also sought after perps.
So who's ever plying voodoo seems to be on our side.
- Yeah, for now.
- All personnel, do not make physical contact
with the victims, radioactivity and contamination possible.
- Been in this business for 25 years and I've seen
more twisted bodies then worms in the ground.
Doesn't make sense.
There was no entry,
therefore, logically, there should be no exit.
- But we do have a hollow body.
- Body?
Bodies!
Why don't you get more bicycle pumps
so I can pump 'em up to see what they used to look like!
Definitely not death by natural causes.
Chase, what's going on here?
I'm not a religious man, but if you do not wrap this up
real soon, I'm taking up the good book
and I'm not talking about Gray's Anatomy.
- How's your head feel now, super cop?
- Yeah, told you he didn't have any brain in there.
- Hey, take two aspirin.
And don't ever fucking call me again.
- I just love being me.
- Detective Chase and Sergeant Madison.
- Madison, yeah, first class all the way.
That's what I said.
- Anything compared to you is first class, Detective Nash.
- Oh ho ho, real cute.
I told you you're cute.
- Hey, Martin, how is it out there?
- Hard, it's really tough out there.
- Any tricks?
- Okay, Madison, ready to rock and roll?
Okay, tally-ho, let's go.
Madison, if you'll accompany me.
Let's check out this area.
Hey, Sarge.
Anybody ever tell you you look really sexy in uniform?
I can't concentrate on anything.
- You know, if I were you, Detective,
I'd keep my attention elsewhere.
- Good God.
Gosh, just having you near me makes me
all hot and flustered like, Sarge.
- Oh yeah?
Well, go home and take a shower, I'll finish up here.
- Hey, not bad, not bad, but some like it hot.
I hear somebody else.
One down, let's see who else is left.
No, no!
And some like it hotter.
Oh boy, I gotta get a hold here, he almost got us.
- A knight in shining armor?
- When the going gets tougher,
the tougher gotta get going, Madison.
I don't wanna spook you, so close your eyes on this one.
- My god!
- Ah!
- What are you doing?
Why are you doing this to yourself?
- When the real time comes, I may be
shot, wounded, hurt, delirious with pain.
I gotta remain focused on what I want.
- Detective?
Nash?
Chase?
Shit!
Is this virtual reality or what?
Chase!
- How ya doin', Madison?
When the big one shows up, I'll be ready for it.
- What big one?
- When it arrives, you'll know it.
Matter of fact, we're all gonna know it.
Lets go get our score.
I feel like I did five miles.
- This is crazy and insane.
You're reasoning is totally warped, Detective Nash.
- Hey look, I never said it was the
Good Housekeeping stamp of approval.
I got my share of knots, all right?
- Yeah, like the hangman's noose dangling over your head.
- Winner, with a new high score.
300 perfect points, Detective Nash.
- All right, I won!
Ah, I feel like Marciano after the fight.
- Don't look like you won to me, retard.
- Ooh, Jesus, hey, this guy is tough.
- Oh, yeah. - He's meant to be tough.
You know, Nash, if you don't watch yourself
we're gonna have to take you to the doctor
so he can check your brain so that you
don't get any booboos anymore.
- Hey, Kyle, I'm outta bullets.
I can't put you outta your misery.
In the meantime, so you don't look like a damn fool,
why don't you zipper up your fly
before your wee little wee-wee falls out.
Take care of these guys, real pissers.
- Little pissers.
- How'd he know yours is so little?
Oh, I'm sorry.
You know, maybe there's something
to this ESP thing, I don't know.
- Oh, it needs to be disinfected.
Put your gun away.
Let's get some peroxide on that.
- I could put you on it.
- You're right out of the cookoo's nest.
You know that, Nash?
- I know.
- Stop messing around.
Okay, bite on a bullet or something, this is gonna hurt.
- Let me swallow my gum first.
- That's not gonna help much.
- It's not gonna hurt.
- Jesus!
- What's the matter?
- What are you, a terminator?
Don't you feel pain?
- Sarge, just having you next to me
to touch me numbs me in ecstasy.
- Do your own then.
- Hey, Sarge, hold the wheel for me for a minute, would ya?
It's here somewhere.
Ah!
- I didn't know undercover meant six feet under.
- Don't bury us yet, Sarge.
Me and you got possibility.
- If anyone's gonna bury us, Detective Nash, its you!
- Hey, don't you think you can call me something a little
sweeter by now, we're all buddies?
Call me Chase!
- Driving under the influence is
against the law in case you forgot.
- Okay, want me to give myself up?
- I'd call it police corruption.
- Hey, don't tell me about police corruption!
I can tell you about police corruption
and it's not me, all right?
- Well, what are you talking about?
- I'd tell you, but I gotta be drunk.
- You're terrible.
- Not bad yourself.
- No, I mean, you're really terrible.
- I mean, you're really not bad yourself.
Why don't you come a little closer?
I don't bite, you know.
- Would you keep your eye on the road?
Keep your mind on work!
- Damn, I got that itch.
I get it every so often.
It drives me crazy like a bad tick.
Oh, man.
Son of a bitch.
- All right, where's the damn itch?
- Right here.
No, have to move around, further.
Come on further around, a little bit.
Oh, closer.
There you go.
Oops, it's gone.
- Ooh!
- I couldn't help myself.
What's the matter, ain't you ever been kissed before?
- Look, Detective, let's get something straight right now.
This isn't some frivolous preppy college fraternity
to see who fucks the chick!
We're here on emergency police business and we
have a case to crack and we better do it soon
before half the city falls victim
to this monster from the black lagoon!
So grow up fast!
- Here, Sarge, you need a drink after a sermon like that.
- That's it!
Stop the car, pull over!
- Hey, hey, take it easy, I'm on the wagon.
No more beer, all right?
Here look, no more, finished, okay?
That's it.
I'll start drinking soda.
Some wine, maybe?
Only kidding, all right, no more drinking.
- Watch out!
God, your crazy!
Stop this car right now.
You hear me, Detective Nash.
I'll have you up for immediate suspension.
Not to mention sexual harassment.
- I don't think he liked that you missed him.
He's coming back for some more.
- What?
- Take a look.
- Jesus, you bring bad luck!
- Scared?
- No, I'm not scared, I'm a trained professional, remember?
- That son of a bitch, he blew my balls!
- I don't believe this!
- Welcome to Chase's Believe It or Not!
Wow, you really pissed him off.
Probably some psychoneurotic who decided to kill himself
tonight by a head-on collision, but you ruined his plan.
- Would you shut up, you're ruining my aim!
- How about your life?
- That, too.
- You have any powder in those bullets or what?
- Nine millimeter rounds are deadly.
- Son of a bitch.
Sarge, put your seatbelt on.
- Give me a break.
- Good shooting, did you hit him once?
- Haven't missed once, Mr. Fabulous.
- Yeah, how come he's still coming?
- I'm calling for help.
It's dead.
- I didn't connect it yet.
- What?
- When it's all over, we'll stop
at a phone booth and call it in.
Right now, hold on.
I wanna take a good look at him shootin' at us.
Hold on.
- What are you doing?
- You made me miss him before.
This time he's not gonna be so lucky.
- You're one sick pup.
- Yeah, I got my moments.
- You're gonna kill us!
Watch out!
- Come on, buddy-boo.
- What, does he got, a cat burne?
Hey, you lucky son of a bitch!
Who's shooting the pickles now, huh?
You see me hit his lights?
- Yeah. - I hit his lights, right?
- Yeah.
- Well, how come they didn't blow?
- I don't know.
- See how the bum like this.
Tires!
- Must be Goodyear.
- The whole car's bulletproof.
- It's almost like he's bulletproof.
- Maybe he's returned from the dead.
- Yeah, well, let's send him back!
Hey look, you suicidal bastard, whoever the hell you are!
Don't worry about your plans being ruined
because I'm gonna kill ya!
Just yell out before it's all over
what kinda flowers you want at your funeral!
- What are you doing?
It's over, Nash!
- Night's just beginning, Maddy!
- You are one crazy bastard!
- It's fun being me.
- What kind of gasoline are we burning?
- NASA rocket fuel.
- Slow down!
- Nothing like living dangerously, Maddy.
Makes you enjoy the walks in the park.
- Yeah, right!
Like playing dead at Forest Lawn.
What are you doing?
You're pushing your already bad luck!
- Scared yet?
- No, only the unknown scares me.
I knew your number a long time ago.
Oh shit!
- Oh, so you do have a vice?
- Driven to smoke by a crazy like you!
Oh my god, this is too much.
- Little itsy bitsy scared yet?
How do you like the view? - I don't, this is suicide.
I can't see a damn thing.
- I can see you, but you don't look so bad.
Hey, Maddie, you sure you can't see a damn thing?
- Not a damn thing!
- Good, I'll drink to that.
- Look out!
- Man, I'm not gonna spill it.
- This can't be happening, this is only a bad dream.
You will awake.
Detective Chase will only be a fading memory.
Creepy little shits.
- No, we're gonna close up!
- Huh?
- Nevermind.
- Oh shit!
Chase, get the fuck outta here now!
- You called me Chase.
Damn, that's twice they got away from me.
- You are by far the most pompous, inconsiderate
law enforcer I have ever had the misfortune
of almost dying with!
- Is that right, Miss Complaint Department?
If I'm ever gonna have to die with somebody,
it's definitely not gonna be you, okay?
- Yeah, well don't do me ny favors.
- I won't.
I haven't seen you perform any great wonders yet.
- When you do, you'll know it.
- Yeah, I'll know it.
You're gonna save the world, right?
Jesus, all this nagging, I need a drink.
- Make that two.
- What do you drink?
- Tequila, straight up, 1800.
So, you have the car rigged on remote or somethin'?
- No, just instinct.
- Instinct don't steer a car through a pitch black tunnel
when you're not looking and you can't see diddly.
- Especially if my instinct is busy doing
something else like steering my hormones right your way.
- Excuse me?
- I'm psychic, okay ESP?
Do do do do, do do do do.
Sarge, I can see with my eyes opened or closed.
It don't matter, far or near.
Except my mind has eyes on the outside.
- Now, you're scaring me.
- Good, your facade is weakening.
Welcome to the club.
- So why you so bash angry?
- Read the accident reports.
I'm a living freak.
Without warning I can go into a psychedelic frenzy,
peer into distant future events.
Different dimensions, for crying out loud!
I didn't ask for this!
It was the accident.
You wanna see something, Sarge?
Gunshot wood from the Cotton-Lansky case.
I was in a coma for two weeks.
Corpus delicti was I became a guinea pig,
a marvel, a wonder, the sous-saint prodigy.
Phenomenon of nature, volcanic eruption.
They called me every name in the book.
Because of this.
- My god.
I've heard of these things, but I never met a real--
- Crazy?
- Before.
- You know, it's funny, Sarge.
Years ago, we'd smoke reefers just beckoning
to find the altered consciousness.
Right now, if I had a choice,
I wouldn't touch it with a 10-foot pole.
- So that's why you drink?
- You got it, it numbs me.
I'm on manic overdrive most of the time.
It's another reason why I'm great at what I do.
- Shit.
Talk about a good line of gab.
We've been shot at, pursued mystery perps
through dark, abandoned tunnels,
almost killed by an avalanche and all in the name of ESP.
Well, tell me Mr. Psychic Cop,
what's your sous saint oracle of the mind
saying about what happens next?
- If I'm hearing correctly, something about partners in bed.
- Wishful thinking, tall, dark, and handsome.
Bet you'll be quick to leave like all run arounds.
I also have foresight.
- She has foresight, I have hindsight
and it doesn't look too bad from here.
Sarge, I know you've been hurt.
I've been hurt, too.
I'm not the bad guy.
You don't have to if you don't want to.
You probably won't until you do.
But you can trust me.
Maybe if you give it some time, we can help each other.
You looking for somebody, honey?
- I certainly am.
And it is definitely not you.
- Well, what about you?
- You know what they say about cops with big guns?
They have small-- - Nevermind.
- Looks like it's not your lucky night.
- It's not my lucky life.
- Who you calling, the lonely lovers hotline?
- Funny.
I'm calling in the plates on the mystery mobile.
You never know, it might be connected to the stripper case.
- How'd you see the plates?
- Fore-- - Foresight, I know.
- No, not again!
- Approximately 35 year old male, gunshot wound to the head.
- Come on, Chase, hold on.
You're bigger and better than that.
Is he gonna make it? - Some do, some don't.
90 over 80.
- He isn't some don't, he's gonna make it.
- Promise me you'll balance the shift to make it equal.
- What did he say? - Oh, he's just delirious.
- To hire places.
- You're not allowed to go up there.
- You're not betraying us.
- He's going into shock.
- Chase.
Hold on.
- Current status?
- They've already penetrated the dimension of redemption?
- The level of angels?
- Yes, but will they be able to pass through the lights?
- Not known yet.
- But it is the absence of light that creates evil.
Once illuminated by the highest wisdom's illumination,
it must be destroyed.
- Yes, but when forces of evil gain power and form,
the force of good is weakened,
and thus in turn weakens the light.
- Then what of unspeakable highest judge
of all, the creator?
Will he allow himself to be destroyed?
- He will not go back on his own law.
Free will to Man will not be intervened.
- The creator has intervened before.
- As decreed during that period.
If Man's pull to evil would greatly outweigh his pull
to good, then it would be left to Man
to witness his own demise.
- Even if it means destruction to all,
including the unspeakable?
- If the almighty allows this.
- Was it really a suicide?
- And up.
- Okay, come on, hold him, he's hemorrhaging.
- Administer another five cc's of sodium pentathol.
- Right, doctor.
- All right, let's see what we've got here.
- Ah, Christ, he's a gusher.
- The EEGs all over the place.
- The bullet must be touching the corpus callosum.
- And he's hallucinating while unconscious.
That's a tidbit for the journals.
- I'll say.
- Heart rate is dropping, Doctor.
- We are not stopping the hemorrhaging.
- This is unbelievable. - 45.
- 33.
- 40. - I don't know what to do.
- 35.
- He's getting close to brain dead.
- 30.
- We gotta stop the bleeding.
If it's right next to the corpus callosum, you can't go in.
- What you're saying is if we cut him he dies,
if we don't cut him, he dies?
- We're losing him, doctor.
- 35, we're losing him, doctor.
- Let's have a decision.
- Get the saw ready, we're going in.
Give me a number three scalpel.
- Stop, change of plans.
Freeze him, freeze him to near death.
Welcome back, Chase.
More exciting the second time around, huh?
Well, uh, he has a hard head so the bullet didn't go
too deep, or it would have been instant.
The downside is that the entry is right next
to the previous wound, compounding the damage
by creating an instant aneurysm,
which is a blood vessel that has ballooned
in this case to the size of a golf ball.
With normal blood pressure, operating is like
operating on a balloon.
If it bursts, the patient's lost.
So we're trying a very new and somewhat risky procedure
whereby his body and brain are frozen,
allowing us sufficient time and control
for surgery before brain death.
At this point, I can only suggest that you pray.
I'm sorry.
- Thanks.
- There it is, this is the last of it.
A 'Vette, '72 white Corvette.
Anthony Maroni, age 72, resides at Gail Park,
516 Perkins Street.
Nothing else even fits the bill.
- Think back, Chester.
Did he say anything else?
- Nothing.
Poor guy, this was his second time around, huh?
- Yeah.
All right, thanks.
- Sorry, wish I coulda had better news.
What a bummer.
I'm gonna be haunted by those last words,
I owe you for a long time.
- What?
- Nothing.
Just before he got shot, he said he owes me.
You know, for a hot shot cop he was an okay guy.
- I owe you, you said there was nothing else.
I owe you, A VET IOU.
- There it is.
A, American, VET, veteran, IOU.
Shit!
He's a post-Nam freak groping for revenge.
Son of a bitch, thanks!
- Sorry, Chase, you don't owe me nothing.
I owe you, man.
- Hey, Sarge, I need your John Hancock.
It's all yours.
- Hey, sweet cop.
- I hear Chase has taken off, bedridden in a deep slumber.
- Too bad about your partner, Sarge,
but I knew if he didn't slow down he'd burst a bubble.
Of course, you're actually lucky that Chase is in a coma.
- Lucky, why?
- Because now you're ready for some real, live partners.
- You know, let me tell you somethin', sweetie.
We figured you must be lonely, so me and my buddy here,
we're willing to swing a little trio action,
you know what I'm saying? - Yeah.
- Ooh, the three of us?
- Yeah.
- We're givers, we love to give.
Like these guys, what do you think?
That ain't Twister, you know what I'm saying?
- What makes you think I'm interested?
- Look, you got a great pair of legs,
but, I mean, how far is looks gonna get ya when you
got a six-foot-four maniac shooting
buckshot at you point blank?
- Look, what my partner here is suggesting is
that maybe, you know, you could use a little bit
of private lessons.
'Cause there's nothing that we don't
know or can't teach you.
- So what you're saying is,
you don't think I can handle myself.
- You're a class A piece of ass, I'll give you that.
As far as being an undercover cop is concerned,
you gotta stick with us and you'll be free-falling
with your eyes closed.
- Go fuck yourselves.
Officer.
Chase in a coma is a lot more interesting
than the two of you with your tongues hanging out.
And you dress terrible.
I'm a little pissed off.
- Hey, you know what?
I think Archie's cleaners can get that out
'cause I dripped some calzone all the way down my
shirt one time and got-- - Shut up!
Idiot!
She's knows somethin'.
- Kuluhan, what's your pinpointing?
- Proceeding towards perps' address, nice neighborhood.
- 10-4, proceed with caution.
- Bingo.
The suspect's '72 low rider plates A VET IOU parked outside.
No one seen in vicinity, over.
- Roger that.
Requesting backup?
- No, consider it under control, over.
- 10-4, but proceed with caution.
Hey, watch your ass out there, Kuluhan.
This stripper case has got us all freaked out.
This ain't no skunk.
Oh my god!
- Jesus, man, looks like she just saw a ghost or something.
- Yeah, bet it wasn't Chase's.
Take and look and see what's spooking the bitch, huh?
- Holy shit!
It's another stripper victim.
- Let's get the fuck outta here, man.
Voodoo's not my scene.
- Wait a minute, man, we can't just run.
We gotta call it in.
- Doesn't look like she is, man.
You're right, let's go.
Let's go, come on.
Fuck.
- You're on empty.
- Son of a bitch, I told you to full it up!
- I did, I filled it up two days ago.
I filled it up.
Shit!
Come back!
- I'm sorry, Sarge, no one's allowed in.
- Oh, come on.
- Doctor's orders, I wish I could.
- Oh, miss, there's no smoking here.
- I'm a cop for Christ sakes.
- You could be the first lady or a fireman,
there's still no smoking.
- Oh, oh god!
Oh god!
I gotta get outta here!
Oh god!
Please, please.
Oh.
- I don't know what to do, doctor.
- I'm not getting a pulse.
- Put him in restraints.
Betty, give more Valium and get some Haldol ready.
- Jesus what the hell's wrong with him?
- I thought it was a coma, but I don't know.
He's split into alternating consciousness.
- Look at the electroencephalograph.
His REM is hitting the roof.
- Jesus, nobody can dream like that.
It's like he's there.
- Come on, Freud didn't describe this phenomenon.
Maybe it's the equipment.
- Forget the equipment, look at him.
A reinforced entry to the corpus callosum,
coma induced, severe blood loss,
in and out of suspended animation, forCchrist's sake!
He can walk out of here if we let him.
No, no, this is Chase,
and what we're dealing with here is a branch
of medicine that's a little left wing for us,
parapsychology.
- Psychic phenomena?
- That's right.
- I'd never thought I'd be relieved
to see a patient fall back into a coma.
- Now, the question is how to get him back out.
- Hm.
I don't think you have to worry about that.
I think the real problem is what the hell is bothering him?
- Your actions were totally imbecile!
You went against professional procedure followup.
Pursue, restrain if possible, and inform.
Officers, Beebe and York, I want a full written report
on my desk by morning as to why you didn't
notify your dispatcher after locating not
only a homicide, but a stripper homicide!
- You know, it was a--
- After witnessing Sergeant Kuluhan take off
like she just saw the Grim Reaper or something,
we capitulated to the assumption
that it was better to follow suit.
We didn't think it was prudent to do anything
beyond the call of duty at the time.
- Oh spare me, will you please, you two!
- Did you capitulate as to leave your car
at the scene of the crime because you
felt it better for your health to jog back to central?
Another no-no.
You left an on vehicle, property of the police department,
at an un-investigated homicide site unattended!
As for you two emulating your hero, Sarge Kuluhan here,
who do you think called it in?
She did.
How do you think we found your car?
Go on, get out.
There's a request for some police protection tonight.
Annual charity ball for underprivileged
children is being held at Francine's.
I'll consider it in good faith
against your errors if you attend.
Or are you afraid of the dark, too?
- No, the dark is good.
Jack of diamonds.
- What the hell is happening chief?
The guy that shoots Chase becomes the next stripper victim?
- I don't know, an act of god.
Look, Sergeant, Chase was an ace cracker jack cop.
I'm sorry about the news.
I thought maybe the two of you might be able
to pave some headway into this frivolous affair.
Maybe I was just asking for too much.
- There's something really terrible going
on out there and I think Chase may have an idea.
- What the fuck are you talkin' about?
Excuse my profanity, but you're not exactly a barbie doll.
You've been around so we can talk, okay?
It'll be an outright miracle if Chase
were to pull out of this one.
- Well, then you'd better party for it
because there ain't nothin' that's gonna fight
with that shit that's pulling out the insides of bodies.
- I'm assigning you to active duty
on the Cohandro heroin case starting tomorrow.
- What?
Wait a second, you're playing two sides.
What's goin' down, Chief, you sellin' out?
- Sergeant, there's some super powered docs going
on here that defies explanation.
Look at this.
Reports coming in from different cities.
New York.
Seattle, Kansas, it's spreading.
The same goddamn thing is happening.
Even Interpol is standing by and nobody
knows what the hell is happening.
Our own morgue is being filled with paper-thin bodies.
Some jerk down at personnel made a joke
about just stacking 'em up like pieces of paper.
But, by the same token, and this is the most ironic thing
of all, this holocaust is cleaning out all the evil scum.
Every victim has been an unscrupulous wicked criminal.
You call it what you want, the wrath of God,
divine atonement.
All I know is it's making my job a hell of a lot easier.
- You sure it's obedience is gonna stay
on the side of law and order?
- What guarantees do we have of anything
in this day and age except life and death, Sergeant?
- Chief, you're saying it but you don't believe it.
- What are you a mind reader?
- I spent some time with Detective Nash,
maybe some of it's rubbed off.
- What do you know?
- Enough.
- That's too bad.
Chase was the piece de resistance.
- What happened to Chase back then with the accident?
- He always was gnostic about his hunches,
even before the accident.
It came down to him being the guinea pig
because nobody else believed in the setup.
He went in alone and busted wide open an
impenetrable drug hierarchy all hidden in puff cotton balls.
He got hit, you know the rest.
- Chief, he's got a power.
He could see without eyes.
He's got a strange depth of field.
He can see very far and he can see very close,
and he can see both at the same time.
He sees things from a different perspective.
I drove with him as he maneuvered through pitch black
tunnels better than if he was in Florida sunshine.
- I know.
He can do more than that, if he lives.
- Well, if the psychic guy is listening or watching,
he must know that we need him.
Come back, Chase.
- Oh, I'm sea sick, I think I'm gonna throw up!
- Hang on, I got some medicine in your case.
- Da da da da da.
- Thank you, thank you, ladies and gentlemen,
warm, generous, prestigious friends for being here tonight.
How we doin', all right, yeah?
- I gotta tell you, no amount of money is
gonna save some of these kids.
- All of the proceeds from tonight's dinner are going
to go directly to the children's bank.
Any additional donations or provisions will
be accepted by our chancellor of finance!
- I just wanted to tell you, you're doing a great.
In fact, you know, you look just like Jerry Lewis.
- Thank you, thank you.
- Okay, we have with us tonight the world's hottest.
Hi, that's great, thanks, all right.
Right, the super fantastic, League of Nations, male snails!
- Woo, here we go, just home, ladies and gentlemen!
Give to the kids!
- Oh, Henry was a snail driving, man!
A snail driving man!
- What do you say we come out of our shells and
protect the female guests, huh?
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
Hey, uh, you protect the blonde, I'll protect the bruney.
- Gotcha! - Whoo!
- Hey.
- Take that, won't ya. - We're on break, thanks.
- Hi, sweetheart, how ya doin'?
- Hi.
- Hey, little guy, how's it goin'?
- Terrible, I wanna go.
- Did you just get transferred?
- Yeah.
- Pretty lonely, huh?
- I'm always lonely.
I wish I was dead so I could be with my Mom.
- Hey, come on, I bought black.
- Give it to me. - It's mine.
- Hold on, dudes.
Confucius say you got to share,
be totally yin and yang, man.
- Where we come from, yin and yang eat the fire.
- You like red hot chili peppers?
Burn, burn!
Excuse me, I'll be right back.
- Come here, what's the matter?
Why are you crying?
Not enjoying the party?
- Ah, geez, spoiled brat.
All he wants is a little shoulder to cry on.
It's a bid for attention, that's all it is.
- The kids scared to death!
- What do you think, he saw a ghost or what?
- You know what they say about kid's intuitions, don't you?
- No.
- Cut their reins, make them suffer.
Yes, suffer!
Suffer!
- Oh my god!
- Geez, let's get outta here. - Police, police!
- Gotta get outta here, man!
- Is there anything to be done?
- It would have to be a human and not an ordinary human.
- Most curious.
- It has been through antiquity with the higher forces.
Any man who tried it had died.
It is reversed.
- Oh my god.
- Jesus.
- He won't make it five minutes.
- The mystery deaths accounted
to the psycho stripper case are
surging cataclysmically upward.
Nine children, wards of the state, were slain last night
by the supernatural death during a charity at Francine's.
No bodies were found.
The question everyone is asking, but afraid
to find out is where will this horror strike next?
- What the hell is happening?
What the hell is happening?
Do you hear me whoever, whatever you are,
what is happening?
- The stripper holocaust has
reached worldwide epidemic proportions.
Officials from world security councils
are in emergency code procedures.
What to do, where to hide, seem to be heartwarming
panaceas from the past.
This incurable pestilence has the world to its knees.
- Let's go, go!
- No, somebody help us!
Somebody help us!
- Let's go!
- Move go! - No!
- Come on, get your fucking ass in gear!
- Go, go! - No!
- Forget the woman, just take the kid!
No!
- Mommy, mommy!
- Get in, get in.
- Get in the car, move, get in the car!
- Fuck you!
- You're a bad man, give me my mommy!
You're a bad man!
- Shut that fuckin' kid up!
- Stop it, little shit!
- Damn, you knocked that little bitch out!
- You're damn right!
- You know, that pisses me off.
These guys are making me mad.
- What's this guy doing?
What the fuck is going on over here?
- Get rid of this mother fucker!
- Fuck this!
- What the hell is, what's his problem?
- I got a fucking chip on my shoulder!
I'm not talking about potato or corn.
I'm talking about hot salsa!
- Bye, mother fucker!
- Oh shit go!
- You guys got me out of my depth, man.
This better be worth it.
- Goddamn it!
- Go! - Cover your ass.
- Go!
- Blow his fucking brains out, man!
- If he catches me, I'm blowing your head off!
Go!
- I'm here to pick up the little kid!
- Hey, cover me, man, I'm reloading.
- Who the hell is he anyway?
- Hi, Uncle Chase is here!
- Go!
- Jesus fucking Christ!
What the fuck is his problem?
- Mommy, Mommy!
Mommy, Mommy!
Mommy!
- Oh god, so that's why it goes after the evil,
because it can't take the good.
- Hey, take this.
What do I look like, a waitress here?
Take this.
What?
- Fucking blueberry!
You know I hate fucking blueberry!
- So shoot me, man, they were outta custard.
What the fuck do you want me to do about it?
Shit!
- Christ almighty! - Ah!
Shit! - Jesus.
- Fuck!
Fuck!
- You see this shit?
- What?
Are you outta your fucking mind or what?
- What is this, you don't know that by now?
Grab her.
- What the fuck is this?
- Her Mom was just killed in cold blood
in the Trust of Los Angeles.
Perps are laying dead in the middle of a large coal field.
Their bodies need to be driven back like just the strippers.
- What else is new?
What do you want us to do,
be the mother and father for her?
- Why not, you guys get it on with each other, don't you?
- Fuck you!
- That's fucking funny, Chase!
- You gotta purge yourself from your evil ways, man.
I saw this thing and it takes evil.
You don't wanna fool around with it.
- Fuck you, man!
- It's a mist from hell.
It rises from the depths of the bottomless pit of hell!
And then it sucks out your soul.
It's gonna destroy everything.
- Bullshit, Chase.
Depths of hell, bullshit!
I don't believe you, you're full of shit!
- Hey, wait a minute, are you serious?
How do we know you're not lying to us this time?
- You know, I don't give a shit.
I never liked you guys anyway.
Do whatever you want, all right?
- Hey, Chase, wait a minute.
Hey, what did you say that evil mist looks like, man?
- Like that.
- Oh, Jesus Christ.
Shit.
Hey, Beau, Beau, come here, man.
Take the girl, take her back to central.
Hey, we gotta do something good spirited very quick.
Very quick. - Asshole.
- Stop yelling profanities, it'll get you first.
Then it'll get me cause it thinks I'm with you.
No, we're fucked. - We're outta here!
- Let's go!
- If I never see you again.
I know you were my friend.
- I thought it was against the rules
to drink while on duty.
- Who's gonna report me?
You're not real, you're just a ghost.
- If I were, I might be able to fight the monsters.
We still partners?
- Chase?
I thought you were dead!
I thought you were dead laying somewhere!
- Chase.
Now, we're getting someplace.
- I just seen the light at the end of the tunnel.
- Oh, it was probably just a bad memory
from your last ride with me, that's all.
- You crazy fool.
It's a wonder you're still alive, what are you doing?
It's gonna be more of a wonder if I
make it through the night, I don't feel too good.
- Okay, okay, come on.
We gotta get you to the hospital, wait, hold on.
- Don't mention hospitals, Sarge.
I hate hospitals.
- Wait, wait.
- It's always so rigid about sex.
- Who said anything about sex?
- Oh, you're not gonna deny a dying
man his last wish are ya?
- Oh great, tall, dark, and handsome and quick to leave.
That's what I said.
He's gonna make love to me and then he's gonna die.
Well, at least I'll be your last woman.
- I guess we're bed partners then, huh?
- Yeah.
- Is your head okay?
- Oh, whatever you're doing is great for my head.
That's great, come on, round two.
- Do I have to wear this blindfold?
- No, give it to me.
Give it to me, actually.
I think I can do better with it.
Oh, that's much better.
I can see from behind.
This is like, I can see like a menage a trois.
There's three of us. - Yeah, yeah?
- Wait, I'm cumming.
Wait I'm cumming, I'm going.
- Oh my god! - Oh wait, don't go.
I'm cumming, I'm cumming.
Hold on, wait, give me five minutes.
- No! - Wait, wait, wait.
- No, no! - I'm cumming, too.
I must be in heaven.
Hi. - Hello.
- I'm sorry I woke you, go back to sleep.
- No, I wanted to wake you up to see you anyway.
- How do you feel?
- I've been worse.
Even though I don't remember when.
You know what's so great about no marriage sex?
You don't have to owe each other anything.
You do it for the fun of it.
Anyway, marriage is the worst.
A gamble in this day and age.
There's no guarantees, no insurance.
- I knew you weren't the marrying type the minute I saw you.
So.
You know what's causing this terrible plague?
- Yeah.
- You know how to stop it?
- No.
- What kinda psycho killer or psycho killers
can't be killed?
- The kind that isn't human, beyond description.
- Something from dark and far away.
But it can't take anybody good or pure.
You know, I've done some pretty nasty things in my life.
Hope they don't get me next.
♪ Another jail break, moving slick, moves awake ♪
♪ Alcatraz, time to break
♪ Bang, bang, bang, too plain shapes the same time ♪
♪ Scare crow calling, stalk the human mind ♪
♪ I'm coming
- Jack!
No, no!
- Doctor Rendel, head psychiatrist
at Princeton theorizes the neuropsychological reason
for the psycho stripper attacks is due
to a massive universal-- - Where the hell are you?
You lousy, stinking, demons!
Where the hell are you?
- Who said good always wins?
- Does the creator know the outcome?
Before existence began--
- You won't attack me unless I'm evil.
But how I'm gonna fight them!
- As the mysterious problems go,
your influence will meet him at the door,
but the golden--
- Time to meet face to face.
- Man without woman is half
and what is needed now is more than whole.
- Greater love hath no man than this.
That a man lay down his life for his friends.
- Yes, sir. - Amen.
- For god so loved the world that he gave his
only begotten son that whosoever shall
believe in him shall not perish, but what?
Hallelujah!
Have everlasting life.
Amen.
♪ What a fellowship, what a joy to find ♪
♪ Meeting everlasting life
- Where the hell were ya, Mr. Son of God?
Died for your sins, did your fun?
- Praise the lord, Praise the lord!
- You wound up stuck on a cross for Christ sakes!
You're the one needing help.
Here, let me help you down!
Let's go asshole.
- Chase?
Come back!
Take me!
What the hell are you?
Take me!
Come on do it.
Just do it!
This is what you want, just do it!
God, chicken shit!
I can't do it!
Come back you impotent son of a bitch!
Chase?
- Sarge, you came all this way to see me.
You do love me.
- A love, hate relationship.
Where are we?
- Near the beginning.
- Looks more like the end.
What are they?
- The stripper demons.
- So what, evil's gonna win?
- Yeah, Looks like it.
- And you're not gonna do anything?
- I don't know what to do, you?
- No.
It would have been nice to get to know you better.
Dreams.
Dreams of a house, kids.
Living happily ever after.
All dreams.
- Sarge, dreaming!
- What?
- That's the answer.
Intent.
Take it, take it at once.
All the demons are disintegrating.
Both you and me focus, come on now.
It's like a dream, evil don't exist.
- I love you.
- Let's go.
Get her over here.
- Okay, his head wound is hemorrhaging very badly.
Okay, she's taken a bullet in the side.
- Setting on-- - Let's take a look.
- Vital signs are steady.
- He's still alive.
Stick it in their palate and you'll make medical history.
- She's okay.
The bullet sidestepped the danger zones.
- One lucky gal.
- Yeah, and you're gonna make it, too.
One lucky guy.
- Hey, look what the rain blew in.
How you doin', Chief?
- Good morning.
Well.
I don't have to tell you what I'm about to tell you,
but as you know the stripper case has been closed.
The consensus of world crime agencies, it's gone.
Just a bad viral contaminant,
incubated from some meteor fallout.
Not to mention it's most curious that it shot
back into space after we found the two
of you lying in some Lutheran church
next to some KKK outfits.
Now, I'm not superstitious.
I don't have any religious convictions,
but either you two did some really lethal praying
or you found the burning bush.
Whatever you did, no one's gonna believe it
so let's just keep it hush-hush.
And do me a favor, don't tell me.
I don't wanna know, I don't wanna know nothin'.
However you did it, you accomplished a mission
and thanks to you, I and a whole lot
of others can rest a lot easier.
So.
- Thank you. - What's this?
- Oh, a little token of my appreciation.
- Chief, you shouldn't have, thanks.
- Tell me something, does this mean I can,
uh, smash up a few more cars?
- No, and if I ever hear one word
about you driving under the influence again
I'll suspend you quicker than you can say stripper.
- Relax, I'm on the wagon.
I'm a brand new man, no more drinking.
- Lieutenant.
- Thanks, bye.
- I almost forgot.
I picked up a little present for ya.
A little something to make my job easier.
Just make sure you wear it when you're on duty.
- It hurts when I laugh.
It's gonna be heavy on the head.
See you later, Chief.
Talking about annoying.
- You'll hurt yourself, get back in bed.
- Ooh, this itch is driving me crazy.
You gotta help me out here, let me.
If you could just scratch me right over here
in this delicate place.
- Chase?
- It's driving me crazy.
- Chase, no!
No, no!
Ooh.
Ooh, yes.
- Sarge, I gotta question.
What do you think?
You wanna get married, Sarge?
- I thought you were the anti-marrying type.
Yeah, well that was before we had that crazy out
of body dream and I saw how you
helped save the universe and all that.
Seemed like a good idea to keep you around for a while.
Listen, you're not interested, forget about it.
- No, I'm not gonna let you forget about it.
I'm holding you to it and, yes, I accept.
- You accept?
Oh, you accept. - I accept.
- You mean I gotta get married?
Well, first let me try you out see if it works properly.
Let's just test out the waters a bit.
- You know it works properly.
So you're on the wagon.
- I'm on the wagon.
Yeah, cowboy days.
Are you talking about a wagon, a automobile wagon?
Oh, you're talking about the drinking kind.
That's no longer a problem.
I'm just gonna drink fermented soda.
- And so it is that Man was made
in the image of the creator so good will endure.
♪ And the teenage visions of my memory ♪
♪ All this before became a part of me ♪
♪ Rising someday to eternity
♪ Bracing the life for all the world to see ♪
♪ With just one match we can light the torch ♪